STOP LOOKING AT ME

I'm tired of not being pretty enough.
I'm tired of not being skinnny enough.
I'm tired of never being good enough.
No matter how hard I try,
I'm so tired of the lack of love in my life,
so much so that I could die.

Im so tired of the lies.

Death isn't a punishment anymore
it's a release from my life.
From all the pain,
and all the blame
From all the shame,
and the fucking games.

From all the hurt that I can't take anymore.

You can't see me but I'm broken,
everysmile on my face is forced.
Often times I wish that I
could disapear with the sunset.
How priceless it would be to just forget.
All the pain that I feel inside.
To wither away with the sun my bestfriend.

To become like the void that I feel inside.

Often times when I close my eyes at night
I think about how it would be if I never rose again.
And at night I cry to loud music to hide my pain.
I don't feel like hearing false concerns of how I'm doing
and what's the matter.
While I punch my stomach for reminding me
I'm starving myself to keep from getting fatter.


Sometimes I am jealous of air headed preps
who are too feebleminded to be unconventional.
I haven't met someone yet
that is as uncomfortable in their own skin
as I am.

And these feelings that stir within me,
bottled up for years.
Over crowed in my body
ready to flood my soul.
Jealousy,
rage,
pain and lonelyness.
Things that make me hunger for comfort.

At night I cry sometimes
inside,
aloud,
and I hear it echo in my soul.


Don't reach out to touch me,
you might get cut on my jagged tounge.
Never have I thought that I would let them get me here
but I am.

Crying,
screaming,
Wailing out,
as I paste a smile to my face
and my tears are so loud you can hear a strand of hair make a sound.

Don't look at me because your stares hurt.
If you only knew me, and the true person inside of me.
All Im looking for is someone to love me
but don't look at me.